Memorial: Joel Baehr

Just after midnight, in the wee hours of Friday, September 22, 2023, our beloved sangha member Joel Baehr left this life for the other side. Since the unexpected death of Joel’s wife Annie in July 2021, his two daughters Amy and Becky had been a consistent presence, keeping Joel company and arranging his care.

The path of Parkinson’s disease is a long one, and Joel navigated it — from the beginning to the end — with extraordinary grace, grit and acceptance. Like the bodhisattva Vimalakirti, he invited his loved ones into community around him, radiating wisdom and bodhicitta to everyone in the room. He often said about his condition, “I’m so grateful” and “What a teaching!”

Joel continued to join retreats long into his illness, even when he could no longer walk. One day during his last onsite retreat at Wonderwell, Joel orchestrated a spontaneous party, finding the wine glasses in the pantry. Getting the music going, Joel danced in his wheelchair, lifting his glass and declaring, “A toast to the human realm! It’s the best of the realms!”

As he became more ill, unable to leave his room, Joel’s mind remained clear, while his heart seemed to grow even bigger until it dissolved into those who came near him. His daughters often sat vigil by his bedside. His devoted aide Moses was always near caring for Joel’s physical needs, and his dharma friends Yonder Gillihan, Eric Brus, and Dave O’Neal were frequent visitors, joining him to practice meditation and read aloud, offering spiritual care, and simply enjoying good conversation and wine.

During the second week of September, Joel decided he was ready to let go of this life. With the support of those closest to him, witnessed by a beloved therapist, Joel began a fast, refraining from food and drink. As word spread, Joel called a farewell gathering of friends and family. As the days past, his friends, students and teachers showed up in force, sharing their last well wishes and gratitudes.

Nine days into his fast, Joel stopped speaking and his breathing changed. By the evening of his passing, Joel was on the threshold, his body’s life force gathering within. It was then that I arrived at Joel’s bedside. Stepping into his room was like entering a field of radiance. Present there were his two daughters Amy and Becky, together with his beloved partner Martha, as well as Yonder, Eric, Dave, and Moses.

We gathered in a circle around Joel, placing a statue of Tara near his head and lighting a candle, tears wetting our cheeks. Dozens of other members of his spiritual family soon arrived on Zoom. Together we invoked Joel’s personal benefactors, asking for their blessing and protection.

We chanted the prayers from the Tibetan Book of the Dead, praying for Joel’s smooth passage through the bardo. The oral instructions on recognizing the clear light of awareness were whispered in his ear, and the sangha offered their individual prayers for Joel’s peace and freedom.

That night, a few hours later, on the cusp of the Fall equinox, Joel finally let go. His child clear-light mind joined with the mother.

Joel — Dzogchen yogi, bodhisattva, dharma guide, father, grandfather, uncle, brother and beloved friend—you showed us how to live with passion and gratitude. But perhaps even more profoundly, you demonstrated to us all how to die.

You showed us that the fruits of practice are not theoretical. Like the great bodhisattvas of the past, your awareness, generosity, compassion and tolerance will stay with us forever as an extraordinary beacon lighting our way, even as the flame of your embodied presence releases into the great expanse.